Big Sky Cairn

The proposal to close the ‘M’ Hiking trail between August and October has touched a bit of a raw nerve with me. In the summer, I probably hike to the M twice a week, and all the way to the wind sock at least once or twice a month. The official reason - concerns about fires - didn’t make much sense to me since there have been other dry years and that mountain has always seemed susceptible to burning (look no further than the North face to see that this isn’t a new threat).

The fire concern also made more sense from a county perspective than a city or university approach. The article clearly explains that the proposal was being floated by both the City of Missoula and the University of Montana. That didn’t make too much sense until I remembered something that I read with regard to the 2000 seat expansion of Washington-Grizzly Stadium. I can’t find it online, and I’ve since thrown away my dead-tree copy, but in essence a University Official was explaining that the expense of the renovations was going to be recouped by a combination of increased ticket sales and higher royalties for television coverage. What caught my attention was that he also said that fans watching the games for free from Mount Sentinel reduced the television ratings, which actually cost the University hundreds of thousands of dollars every season.

Click. Suddenly “August through October” has a whole new significance. Is the University supporting the closure of the ‘M’ to help finance a larger stadium? Maybe.

My biggest concern though is that there is a more insidiously diabolical goal behind this seasonal closure plan. Michael Moore over at Western Montana 360 set my brain working with his post about the concerns that “local plant protectors” (environmentalists, not union bosses) had with the environmental impact of the famous “M” (and to a lesser degree, the “L” too). For the extreme environmental fringe in Missoula, the wide trail cutting its way up to the concrete monstrosity of the “M” has always been contentious. I know that Loyola Sacred Heart High School - which maintains the “L” - has run afoul of environmentalists with it’s annual whitewashing of the stones that make up that letter.

So my question is this. Does anyone actually think that “fire concerns” are the real motivation behind this plan? Or are we seeing a money grab by the University of Montana athletic department? Or is this the first step in reclaiming Mount Sentinel permanently in the name of Mother Gaia?

Read the rest of this entry »

Carol notes that Google - in support of Earth Hour - has made their screen black. On their explanation page, they claim that modern monitors use the same energy to display white as black, so their effort is purely symbolic.

As to why we don’t do this permanently - it saves no energy; modern displays use the same amount of power regardless of what they display.

Of course, the metaphor of changing Google black to Earth Hour is appropriate. In both cases, the intentions are certainly good. But in both cases the results are actually counterproductive.

While it may seem that a black screen would use less energy than a white one, this is not the case. It is also not the case that a black screen uses the same amount of energy. In fact, it is a black screen - like the one that Google put up for Earth Hour - that will use the most energy overall.

As for the notion of Earth Hour - saving the planet from the real and imagined threats that it faces is a pretty big job. Convincing people that they are actually contributing by turning off their lights for an hour in the middle of the day on a Saturday - well that’s giving them an easy way out. Why do more? I celebrated Earth Hour!

What’s next? Earth Minute?

John Lewis is still hurting (on behalf of children, of course) from the fallout of The Joke. I’d love to sit in on that doctor’s appointment.

JL: Ow, doc. It really hurts.
MD: Interesting. Does it hurt when I do this?
JL: It hurts no matter what you do. Oooh, the pain. Can you give me something for it?
MD: Well, ordinarily I’d suggest a strong dose of “getting over it” but my diagnosis is that you addicted to the attention and the so-called pain is just a mental construct for your next fix.
JL: For the children, doc!

But let’s for a second assume that Lewis is really experiencing the pain he says that he is - and that this isn’t just political theatrics. In that case, the cause of that pain is the content of the joke (that has been interpreted in some way that I fail to comprehend as an insult to the gay community). This presumption holds that the joke is quite damaging to the gay community in Montana which begs the question: why is Lewis the only one still sending letters to the editor to remind everyone of something that he himself admits would otherwise be forgotten?

Would a restaurant owner send a letter to the editor reminding people of a health code violation? Would a celebrity send a letter to the editor reminding people of a bad review for a movie she was in last year? Of course not because those reports are legitimately damaging and bringing them back into the forefront of public discourse would re-open the wound.

The way I see it, Lewis is either very dishonest or very stupid. If the joke was truly damaging and he keeps bringing it up, he’s stupid. But smart money is on dishonesty - his outrage is feigned.

Is to too much to ask Lewis to shoot straight with Montana?

The left hates Wal-Mart. I could never figure out why. I don’t shop there a lot, but I certainly don’t have anything against ‘em. Especially after reading how they are breaking balls in the music industry about the cost of a CD.

Tensions are not as high now as they were last winter, but making sure Wal-Mart is happy remains one of the music industry’s major priorities. That’s because if Wal-Mart cut back on music, industry sales would suffer severely — though Wal-Mart’s shareholders would barely bat an eye. While Wal-Mart represents nearly twenty percent of major-label music sales, music represents only about two percent of Wal-Mart’s total sales. “If they got out of selling music, it would mean nothing to them,” says another label executive. “This keeps me awake at night.”

I’m glad that keeping Wal-Mart happy keeps them up at night after almost a decade of suing their customers, handicapping every convenient music technology that came along and using mobster tactics to bite the hand that feeds them. I wish consumers like me carried this much influence.

Wondering where the $15.99 for a CD goes?

This breakdown of the cost of a typical major-label release by the independent market-research firm Almighty Institute of Music Retail shows where the money goes for a new album with a list price of $15.99.

$0.17 Musicians’ unions
$0.80 Packaging/manufacturing
$0.82 Publishing royalties
$0.80 Retail profit
$0.90 Distribution
$1.60 Artists’ royalties
$1.70 Label profit
$2.40 Marketing/promotion
$2.91 Label overhead
$3.89 Retail overhead

The popular adage goes: “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

The Bene Gesserit have a slightly different perspective - and one that I’ve shared for some time.

“Power attracts the corruptible”

It’s not that good people are ruined by power; it’s that good people don’t want power leaving only the bad people to crave it. There are always exceptions, but this seems to be the rule.

We need Jack Ryan. We need an American Cincinnatus.

With all the prefab outrage at Congressman Denny Rehberg’s “Idaho Travel Package” critics are coming out of the woodwork to pile on attacks and name calling. You’ll never find a greater bed of intolerance than among the liberal left demanding tolerance.

My feeling on the issue is that one, the joke wasn’t that funny but maybe you had to be there and two, you have to dig pretty hard to find offense in it. The primary point of contention is the shirt “My Senator may not be gay, but my governor is Butch.” The thing is, I don’t know any gay people who are offended by this, but I do know plenty of bleeding hearts of are offended for them (since they’re too weak to know what’s best for them).

Look, if you want it bad enough, you can find offense in just about anything. To test that theory, let’s review a recent Top Ten List that Senator Max Baucus put together for Big J over at KRSQ. Max put some work into this one too, and was so proud of it that he posted it on his official site for some time (although I can’t seem to find it now). Without further ado:

10 Buy Britney Spears’ new CD, Blackout to replace Yanni on my iPod
9 Head out for an evening of cow tipping with my buddy Jon Tester
8 Check all Billings restaurants for illegal aliens
7 Get all hopped up on Red Bull and start a mosh pit at the Ozzy Osborne show
6 Shotgun a Mad Dog 20-20 and hit the Corn Maize with Brian Schweitzer
5 Put your tax dollars to work at Lucky Lil’s
4 See how long it takes to get bounced out of Club Carlin
3 Watch the Raiders get their butts kicked at Tiny’s
2 Show Barry Manilow who’s boss with my Karaoke performance at The Red Door
1 Ask Big J if he would be willing to be the official morning show of the United States Senate.

So let’s put together a list of groups or individuals who could - if so inclined - be offended by Baucus’ insensitivity. I’ve included contact information so the Offense Grass Roots Brigade can start to generate the outrage.

1) MADD Montana - Sure, alcohol is a part of Montana’s culture, but that’s probably why Montana consistently ranks near the bottom when it comes to alcohol related driving accidents and fatalities. These are real events with real consequences - real lives are ruined. Out of the ten items on Max’s list, five of them deal directly with consumption of alcohol or a drinking establishment. Shotgunning an MD 20-20 isn’t exactly responsible drinking, and as role-models go Britney Spears and Ozzy Osbourne aren’t exactly positive. You can begin the outrage avalanche by contacting MADD here.

2) Chris Crocker - just wants you to leave Britney Spears alone. Why does Max have to make her the butt of a joke? You can let Chris know about this outrage through his MySpace profile.

3) RIAA. Max clearly states that he intends to buy a CD for his iPod. As he undoubtedly knows, an iPod doesn’t play CDs so it will be necessary to rip that CD. Based on the laws the Max helped to write, ripping a CD for personal use is illegal. You can report Max’s public support for intellectual piracy here.

4) R-CALF - When it comes to ranchers who are already facing a dire economic situations, the last thing they need is for their state’s two United States Senators to risk damaging his herd - and livelihood - for a few juvenile seconds of cow-tipping. Contact R-CALF to express the anger at 406-252-2516.

5) PETA - If the plight of the rancher doesn’t capture your attention, maybe the plight of the poor helpless cow will. Cow tipping isn’t funny, and PETA wants to do something about it. Supporting Ozzy Osbourne, who notoriously bit the head off of a living dove won’t really fly in their book either. PETA recommends that you call the police, but if that doesn’t accomplish what you need, they provide a phone number for their hotline here.

6) Montana Restaurant Association - Illegal immigration is a national problem, so it’s unfortunate that Senator Baucus felt the need to single out restaurants in his quest to curb illegal hiring practices. For the sake of your local watering hole, contact the MRA here: (406) 256-1005.

7) Any number of Illegal Immigrant Advocacy groups - Great! A vigilante United States Senator rounding up any illegal immigrant looking folks (mostly identifiable from their darker skin and broken English, I hear) for deportation. There’s a lot of rage to be generated here since Illegal Immigrants have been gaining political power for some time. The Open Borders Coalition is a good place to start. It’s 130 organizations with the shared goal of preventing Baucus-style racism. Call them for a total list of members at 617-350-5480.

8.) D.A.R.E. - getting ‘hopped up’ on a foreign chemical is a glorified reference to drug use. Replacing an illicit drug type with “Red Bull” merely coats the payload while maintaining the problematic content - sort of like putting LSD on a cube of sugar. A United States Senator ought not set an example of using a drug - be it LSD or Red Bull - for the purpose of getting hopped up. You can contact D.A.R.E. here.

9) Focus on the Family - Ozzy Osbourne is well-known for his fascination with the occult and his encouragement of experimentation in Satanic ritual. There are any number of Evangelical Christian organizations that are perfectly geared to generate the kind of outrage we want. One of the most powerful is James Dobson’s Focus on the Family. The contact web form is here. Of course, your messages will go further if you are able to pepper them with scripture. Ask yourself - rhetorically - why is Baucus promoting the occult?

10) Montana Frat Boys - Max claims that he is going to shotgun a Mad Dog 20-20. But MD 20-20 comes in glass bottles and any self-respecting binge-drinker knows you can only shotgun out of a can. Sans can, you’re not shotgunning so much as beer-bonging. Where to begin the outrage on this one? It’s a hard choice, but contacting the Greek system at MSU (greek@montana.edu) and U of M (greeklife@umontana.edu) is a good place to get in touch with individual fraternity chapters. Ask for the social chairs.

11) Americans for Tax Reform - ATR is just one of a lot of organizations that would have a lot of interest in using tax dollars to gamble. We can cover the gambit here, from people offended by the mis-use of money that could go to giving stuff to poor people to those who want taxes eliminated all the way to the people who think that the Federal Income Tax is illegal. Contact ATR at friends@atr.org.

12) A Better Montana Without Gambling - Gambling isn’t a joke - especially when it helps destroy lives, families, communities and entire states. Contact Tom Shellenberg at BMWG here.

13) Students Against Violence Everywhere - Why would a United States Senator advocate any activity that would precipitate the necessity to “bounce” him from a bar? In most cases, that activity is some combination of drinking too much and violence (usually inspired by the drinking). SAVE will not be happy to hear of this sort of rhetoric, and the grr-factor of a student organization is always formidable. Get the grr going here.

14) The Raider Nation - This one’s pretty self-explanatory, but you can get the ball of rage rolling here. You might also want to try the City of Oakland or any member California’s Congressional Delegation (they are quite rage savvy).

15) Barry Manilow International - What is the deal with Baucus attacking Barry Manilow fans? Personally, I think if this is done right this could be one of the strongest sources of rage ever. One key to rage is anger, and there’s no anger like the self-hatred of anyone who would be a member of the International Barry Manilow Fan Club. Get rockin on the message boards by clicking here.

16) CREW - Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington did a great job of generating rage in 2006. Let’s see if they’ve still got the touch. See, Baucus is asking a private for-profit organization to be the Official Spokesman of the United States Senate - a promotion specifically forbidden by Senate Ethics Rules. Sure, he’s scoring some points with the media but he’s doing so at the expense of the integrity of his office. Get your ethical rage on here.

Look, this is just the tip of the iceberg. For every organization listed with grounds for righteous offense, there are thousands more. Of course, my point is less that you should contact any of these groups (if you feel inclined to, have at it), and more that anything can be offensive to someone.

And you know what? That offends me, which is what we call a paradox. Happy anger-mongering folks!

Brad’s post about Dune reminded me of something I noticed when I was reading Heretics of Dune.  Frank Herbert wrote the original Dune in 1965.  By 1977, when George Lucas released Star Wars IV, Herbert had published three of the six books he would eventually write.

Now if you’ve read to Dune books and seen the Star Wars movies, you’ll notice the similarities.  They are striking.  Tattooine is Dune complete with the Fremen/Sand People.  The Jedi are Bene Gesserit (with X chromosomes).  The list goes on - in fact Herbert counted sixteen points of what he called “absolute identity” between his book and the movie.

So as I’m reading Heretics of Dune, and in the middle of the book on page 322 Frank Herbert goes on a completely random tangent about building materials it seemed a bit out of place.  So I re-read it.  Here’s what it said.  See if you can figure out what Herbert is saying:

In the time of the Old Empire and even under the reign of Muad’dib, the region around the Gammu Keep had been a forest reserve, high ground rising well above the oily residue that tended to cover Harkonnen land.  On this ground, the Harkonnens had grown some of the finest pilingitam, a wood of steady currency, always valued by the supremely rich.  From the most ancient times, the knowledgeable had preferred to surround themselves with fine woods rather than with the mass-produced artificial materials then known as polastine, polaz, and pormabat, latterly: tine, laz, and bat.  As far back as the Old Empire, there had been a pejorative label for the small rich and the Families Minor arising from the knowledge of a rare wood’s value.

“He’s a three P-O,” they said, meaning that such a person surrounded himself with cheap copies made from déclassé substances.  Even when the supremely rich were forced to employ one of the distressful three P-Os, they disguised it where possible behind O-P (the Only P), pilingitam.

Did you catch it?  “Cheap copies,” “déclassé”, “distressful”… all called the three P-Os.  The 3 P-Os.  The 3POs.  Herbert doesn’t write things randomly, and his modus operandi is meanings within meanings within meanings.  Given that this passage serves no obvious function, I can only think that Herbert was taking a (well deserved) shot at George Lucas’ intellectual heist.

Feints within feints within feints.

From a great little Montana fluff-piece in the Economist, we get this gem:

“Ten years ago one of the endangered species in the West was the Democratic governor. Today we’re a solid blue bridge from Alberta to Mexico—Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Kansas, Oregon, Washington”, Mr Schweitzer says. Such facts have led to speculation that the future of the Democratic Party lies not in poaching the odd Southern state in presidential elections, but in building a reliable Democratic base amid the Rockies.

I’ve written about this before - and I still think that Montana’s soul is at stake over the next ten years. What scares me is that whenever anyone outside of Montana writes about Montana it sounds a lot like what the Economist said above. Montana is the future of the Democratic Party…

I have two takes on that, because for that to happen, either the Democratic Party or the Mountain West is going to have to change.

The better option is that Democrats move back toward their populist roots abandoning the Liberal ideals of the Californias and Massachusetts. The Liberal Left doesn’t really love the Mountain West, but they tolerate us because we help give them the majorities they need. For the Mountain West to establish itself as the heart of the new Democrat Party those liberals would have to be exorcized from their controlling role and new, more moderate leaders like Baucus and Schweitzer would have to take over. But the truth is, I don’t see that happening - we just don’t have enough electoral votes.

The more realistic option is that it will be the Mountain West and not the Democratic Party that changes. The liberal-wing has too much control in the Democrat party. My guess is that - over the next few decades - as all of the urban liberals retire and want to leave the social paradises they’ve constructed they will look for a good place to nest. Sort of like aliens looking for a new planet to colonize. And national stories like this one that portray Montana and the Mountain West as “the future of the Democratic Party,” will draw them here like an Arecibo message.

I hope I’m wrong, but that’s why I always get an ugly feeling in my gut when Montana gets national press. Those stories aren’t written for Montana. They are written for East Coast liberals who still swoon over western clichés like the ones Brian Schweitzer was oozing:

Mr Schweitzer revels in rural wit: in a previous interview he said he has “more guns than I need and fewer than I want.” Montana has six guns for every resident, he tells me, after asking me if I own one. “In Montana we think gun control is hittin’ what you’re shootin’ at…Out here in the West we Democratic governors are just as likely as Republican governors to be packing a pistol.”

When it comes to press, I prefer the kind that’s written in other states and printed in Montana’s papers for Montanans to read - not the other way around.

Call me old fashioned but I miss the Copper and Gold. No reason really to bring that up, really except I noticed that the Griz Bookstore is selling throw-back jerseys and gear.  Thanks for reading.

I’ve done extensive research - hours upon hours of pouring through books at Mansfield and the MPL - to determine exactly what would happen if Montana were to secede from the United States. This guide can be considered the definitive description of what will transpire if the unthinkable occurs (of course, I’ve seen enough Star Trek episodes to realize that by describing this scenario, it’s likely that I will have changed the outcome - darn paradoxes).

So we all know that the Judicial Branch is way out of control, what with legislating from the bench and letting lawyers exist. Anyway, in the case D.C. v. Heller the Supreme Court is going to decide if the good God-fearing people of Montana are too scary to own guns. (As a side note here, the people of DC just love their “taxation without representation” martyrdom and in order to not deny them their euphoric agony, I think someone ought to consider taking away their access ot the Judicial System altogether - especially considering how they use it). Okay, back on track. Now in Montana, “When you pry it from my cold dead hands,” is always the answer to any questions about gun control or damn dirty apes, so understandably people are upset when Uncle Sam came knocking with an inkling to take away our guns. Our elected officials put their heads together and decided that the best course of action was to hold their breath until Big Brother did what they want. It’s sort of a state tradition.

But should the Supreme Court not do what it’s told and Montana ends up seceding, it’s not quite clear what will happen. Since Montana was never an independent nation, and “territory” doesn’t get you a seat at the international lunch table, the first question is - what is Montana if not a state? No one knew - until now.

See, while the Congressional Delegation will likely be exiled to Washington, DC (a tough fate for Denny and Jon who still have Montana roots, but a welcome change for DC-resident Max who is getting rather sick of the commute) the state government will remain intact. Governor Brian Schweitzer, using the political capital he’s sacrificed seven Jags for (it’s a little known fact that like Lassie, Jag is replaced once a year for a newer younger dog - the old Jag is eaten by environmentalists) will finally be in a position to get what he’s wanted since his first day on the job in Helena. A new job.

A Presidency.

By the sheer will-to-power of Brian Schweitzer will declare himself President of Montana - a glorious new nation. Brad Johnson will be sent off to investigate a potato famine in Idaho and in his absence, President Schweitzer will legitimize his position by holding a plebiscite (of Montana editorial boards). Unsurprisingly, the Montana press will approve of his Administration with a shocking 99% of the vote (1% abstained - an intern concerned with press independence - resulting in much eye rolling and laughing). With this undeniable Mandate from the People (who are Media), President Schweitzer will move the Capital to Missoula - which he will rename Saint Schweitzerberg. The Grizzlies will be guaranteed a National Championship every year since the Bobcats will never beat them.

For the first 100 hours, things will go pretty smoothly. But the glory is to be short-lived because the war-monger George W. Bush is about to warn his country that Montana has WMDs (”We know, because we put them there“). President Schweitzer presents a clear and present danger to the safety of American people (he spend a lot of his time “invading” neighboring states and San Francisco before he became President). The time to act is now. And Congress looks likely to grant him the power he needs to invade…

Continued in Part II.