Ten Times as Offensive?
March 9th, 2008 by Wiley CodyWith all the prefab outrage at Congressman Denny Rehberg’s “Idaho Travel Package” critics are coming out of the woodwork to pile on attacks and name calling. You’ll never find a greater bed of intolerance than among the liberal left demanding tolerance.
My feeling on the issue is that one, the joke wasn’t that funny but maybe you had to be there and two, you have to dig pretty hard to find offense in it. The primary point of contention is the shirt “My Senator may not be gay, but my governor is Butch.” The thing is, I don’t know any gay people who are offended by this, but I do know plenty of bleeding hearts of are offended for them (since they’re too weak to know what’s best for them).
Look, if you want it bad enough, you can find offense in just about anything. To test that theory, let’s review a recent Top Ten List that Senator Max Baucus put together for Big J over at KRSQ. Max put some work into this one too, and was so proud of it that he posted it on his official site for some time (although I can’t seem to find it now). Without further ado:
10 Buy Britney Spears’ new CD, Blackout to replace Yanni on my iPod
9 Head out for an evening of cow tipping with my buddy Jon Tester
8 Check all Billings restaurants for illegal aliens
7 Get all hopped up on Red Bull and start a mosh pit at the Ozzy Osborne show
6 Shotgun a Mad Dog 20-20 and hit the Corn Maize with Brian Schweitzer
5 Put your tax dollars to work at Lucky Lil’s
4 See how long it takes to get bounced out of Club Carlin
3 Watch the Raiders get their butts kicked at Tiny’s
2 Show Barry Manilow who’s boss with my Karaoke performance at The Red Door
1 Ask Big J if he would be willing to be the official morning show of the United States Senate.
So let’s put together a list of groups or individuals who could - if so inclined - be offended by Baucus’ insensitivity. I’ve included contact information so the Offense Grass Roots Brigade can start to generate the outrage.
1) MADD Montana - Sure, alcohol is a part of Montana’s culture, but that’s probably why Montana consistently ranks near the bottom when it comes to alcohol related driving accidents and fatalities. These are real events with real consequences - real lives are ruined. Out of the ten items on Max’s list, five of them deal directly with consumption of alcohol or a drinking establishment. Shotgunning an MD 20-20 isn’t exactly responsible drinking, and as role-models go Britney Spears and Ozzy Osbourne aren’t exactly positive. You can begin the outrage avalanche by contacting MADD here.
2) Chris Crocker - just wants you to leave Britney Spears alone. Why does Max have to make her the butt of a joke? You can let Chris know about this outrage through his MySpace profile.
3) RIAA. Max clearly states that he intends to buy a CD for his iPod. As he undoubtedly knows, an iPod doesn’t play CDs so it will be necessary to rip that CD. Based on the laws the Max helped to write, ripping a CD for personal use is illegal. You can report Max’s public support for intellectual piracy here.
4) R-CALF - When it comes to ranchers who are already facing a dire economic situations, the last thing they need is for their state’s two United States Senators to risk damaging his herd - and livelihood - for a few juvenile seconds of cow-tipping. Contact R-CALF to express the anger at 406-252-2516.
5) PETA - If the plight of the rancher doesn’t capture your attention, maybe the plight of the poor helpless cow will. Cow tipping isn’t funny, and PETA wants to do something about it. Supporting Ozzy Osbourne, who notoriously bit the head off of a living dove won’t really fly in their book either. PETA recommends that you call the police, but if that doesn’t accomplish what you need, they provide a phone number for their hotline here.
6) Montana Restaurant Association - Illegal immigration is a national problem, so it’s unfortunate that Senator Baucus felt the need to single out restaurants in his quest to curb illegal hiring practices. For the sake of your local watering hole, contact the MRA here: (406) 256-1005.
7) Any number of Illegal Immigrant Advocacy groups - Great! A vigilante United States Senator rounding up any illegal immigrant looking folks (mostly identifiable from their darker skin and broken English, I hear) for deportation. There’s a lot of rage to be generated here since Illegal Immigrants have been gaining political power for some time. The Open Borders Coalition is a good place to start. It’s 130 organizations with the shared goal of preventing Baucus-style racism. Call them for a total list of members at 617-350-5480.
8.) D.A.R.E. - getting ‘hopped up’ on a foreign chemical is a glorified reference to drug use. Replacing an illicit drug type with “Red Bull” merely coats the payload while maintaining the problematic content - sort of like putting LSD on a cube of sugar. A United States Senator ought not set an example of using a drug - be it LSD or Red Bull - for the purpose of getting hopped up. You can contact D.A.R.E. here.
9) Focus on the Family - Ozzy Osbourne is well-known for his fascination with the occult and his encouragement of experimentation in Satanic ritual. There are any number of Evangelical Christian organizations that are perfectly geared to generate the kind of outrage we want. One of the most powerful is James Dobson’s Focus on the Family. The contact web form is here. Of course, your messages will go further if you are able to pepper them with scripture. Ask yourself - rhetorically - why is Baucus promoting the occult?
10) Montana Frat Boys - Max claims that he is going to shotgun a Mad Dog 20-20. But MD 20-20 comes in glass bottles and any self-respecting binge-drinker knows you can only shotgun out of a can. Sans can, you’re not shotgunning so much as beer-bonging. Where to begin the outrage on this one? It’s a hard choice, but contacting the Greek system at MSU (greek@montana.edu) and U of M (greeklife@umontana.edu) is a good place to get in touch with individual fraternity chapters. Ask for the social chairs.
11) Americans for Tax Reform - ATR is just one of a lot of organizations that would have a lot of interest in using tax dollars to gamble. We can cover the gambit here, from people offended by the mis-use of money that could go to giving stuff to poor people to those who want taxes eliminated all the way to the people who think that the Federal Income Tax is illegal. Contact ATR at friends@atr.org.
12) A Better Montana Without Gambling - Gambling isn’t a joke - especially when it helps destroy lives, families, communities and entire states. Contact Tom Shellenberg at BMWG here.
13) Students Against Violence Everywhere - Why would a United States Senator advocate any activity that would precipitate the necessity to “bounce” him from a bar? In most cases, that activity is some combination of drinking too much and violence (usually inspired by the drinking). SAVE will not be happy to hear of this sort of rhetoric, and the grr-factor of a student organization is always formidable. Get the grr going here.
14) The Raider Nation - This one’s pretty self-explanatory, but you can get the ball of rage rolling here. You might also want to try the City of Oakland or any member California’s Congressional Delegation (they are quite rage savvy).
15) Barry Manilow International - What is the deal with Baucus attacking Barry Manilow fans? Personally, I think if this is done right this could be one of the strongest sources of rage ever. One key to rage is anger, and there’s no anger like the self-hatred of anyone who would be a member of the International Barry Manilow Fan Club. Get rockin on the message boards by clicking here.
16) CREW - Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington did a great job of generating rage in 2006. Let’s see if they’ve still got the touch. See, Baucus is asking a private for-profit organization to be the Official Spokesman of the United States Senate - a promotion specifically forbidden by Senate Ethics Rules. Sure, he’s scoring some points with the media but he’s doing so at the expense of the integrity of his office. Get your ethical rage on here.
Look, this is just the tip of the iceberg. For every organization listed with grounds for righteous offense, there are thousands more. Of course, my point is less that you should contact any of these groups (if you feel inclined to, have at it), and more that anything can be offensive to someone.
And you know what? That offends me, which is what we call a paradox. Happy anger-mongering folks!
